I am staying in a hotel tonight, and I had to use the john to do a little unloading - and they have this cheap, thin, scratchy ass sandpaper feeling toilet paper that has my butthole feeling like it has a bad case of hemorrhoids after eating a ton of extremely spicy food. That’s effing bollocks!

Call me a baby if you wish, but I guess I’m a bit snobby when it comes to how my arse feels - I’ll save my money when it comes to clothing and designer labels, but will gladly pay premium for nice toilet paper.

What can I say? I like my Charmin or Quilted Northern, twin-ply, and double-rolls at that! Am I the only bloke that likes my tp soft and non-abrasive?