EffingBollocks.com!!

Dog gone drunk.

execbloke — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 18:39:31 +0000

Lol, came across this image on the web sometime ago (can’t remember where now for proper crediting). And I have to say, this is pretty effing bollocks funny mates.

Rudolph the red-nose pimple

execbloke — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 07:13:44 +0000

Dude. Let me tell you - a pimple on your nose - especially a lone pimple on your nose - is effing bollocks. I mean, c’mon - talk about noticeable! What are you gonna do - try to cover it? Put a small bandage over it? Everyone’s going to effing know that you’re hiding a big pimple under that bandage!

What, you think you can go to work all non-chalant and try to have a conversation? You know everyone sees it and just do not wish to say anything. Yep - they absolutely see it - you can almost see their eyes darting to the tip of your nose and quickly darting away. They know they don’t want to stare - but they just can’t help from being drawn to that big, huge, fat, bright, red, hunking pimple that’s on the tip of my nose!!

Seriously - what do I do? Like many of you that have experienced this wretched ordeal, I want to make light of the matter. Maybe I want to bring it up myself - say something like, “man, I must be stressed lately cuz I have this huge pimple on my nose.” I hope that by mentioning it, I might soften the mood - make it more bearable - joke about it - haha, yeah. Right. Then I wonder - do I really want to mention it? Part of me hopes that it really isn’t that noticeable. But hah - I know that it painfully is. Isn’t it. Sigh.

So - another battle that I’m sure many of us fight internally when we find ourself in this embarrassing situation - is when do we pop the effing thing?! I mean, it’s ripe - like a cherry in season - bulging - waiting to pop - waiting to break out - waiting for me to release it from its pressure and let the darn pus ooze out. But what if it gets infected? What if it scabs up tomorrow? Talk about being even more noticeable. Thus far I’ve resisted - but tonight is night 3, and popping this sucker is sounding pretty darn good right about now!

I don’t generally get these single pimples on the nose - but damn, when I do get ‘em, it is totally effing bollocks.

$18 can of tennis balls?!

execbloke — Thu, 03 May 2007 06:15:25 +0000

I went into the company store today to purchase a gift, and while the attendant was bagging my item, my eyes fell upon a canister of tennis balls with our company branding on the tube. I thought to myself, “why don’t I buy this for my friend that loves to play tennis?” That was before I found out that the can of tennis balls costs effing $18 USD!!

Are ya kidding me?! Sure they were Wilson balls, but really - $18 effing dollars?! That is just effing bollocks!

AOL copies Yahoo!

execbloke — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 21:19:18 +0000

Dude, AOL, go get your own material! What the eff?

AOL has began testing a new home page… do you notice any similarities? You can read more about this on TechCrunch’s article: AOL One Step Behind Again: New Home Page Identical To Yahoo

I know that imitation is the highest form of flattery, but dude, c’mon peoples… is this effing bollocks or what?! Not cool, not cool!

Google copied Yahoo! back in 2006
Yup, it happened too! Although Google “changed” it up, it was forever captured by blogger Jeremy Zawodny’s post: Google Blatantly Copies Yahoo!?

Wash da hands mate, puhleeeez!

execbloke — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 08:52:54 +0000

You know what gets under me skin more than a runner runner gut shot straight draw that hits? When folks use the john and leave without washing their hands! Especially after they wipe and don’t wash!! Aaaaaaaaaaaargh! Effing bollocks!

Pimples and Periods

MsMona — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 11:29:02 +0000

As a girl, it sucks to have your period every month, tho nowadays you can take certain pills to skip your period. Are there pills to get rid of the pimples or zits that appear the same time you have your period?

Scratchy rough toilet paper

execbloke — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 05:52:10 +0000

I am staying in a hotel tonight, and I had to use the john to do a little unloading - and they have this cheap, thin, scratchy ass sandpaper feeling toilet paper that has my butthole feeling like it has a bad case of hemorrhoids after eating a ton of extremely spicy food. That’s effing bollocks!

Call me a baby if you wish, but I guess I’m a bit snobby when it comes to how my arse feels - I’ll save my money when it comes to clothing and designer labels, but will gladly pay premium for nice toilet paper.

What can I say? I like my Charmin or Quilted Northern, twin-ply, and double-rolls at that! Am I the only bloke that likes my tp soft and non-abrasive?

Airport Security

MsMona — Sat, 10 Feb 2007 20:52:03 +0000

Ok fine. No guns, knives, lighters or sharp objects are allowed past the security checkpoint. But the measures that have been enforced with carrying on liquids, gels etc… Effing Bollocks.

For those that don’t know, all liquids, gels and aerosols must be in 3 oz or smaller containers. Toothepaste tubes rolled up are not allowed and all these things must be placed in a single quart-size zip-top clear plastic bag. You can’t have more than one of these baggies. (check out the l.a.x. site for more info)

The only ones who may not have a problem with the 3oz bottles and zip lock bag are those with O.C.D., in my opinion.

A friend of mine had his laptop stolen. It was a used laptop that he was going to give to his mother. Rather than carrying on 2 laptops, he decided to check the older one in with his luggage. Upon arrival, he noticed it was missing. But the airport is not liable for things like this. Effing bollocks.

Why can’t our luggage be locked? Aren’t they scanned before they’re loaded on the planes?